I've been suffering from both the past couple of days. It's early morning, Tuesday morning. I'm not even gonna look at the clock. It will only depress me. I've just wasted an evening watching YouTube videos and catching up on the new Real Husbands of Hollywood show starring Kevin Hart (which was actually a worthwhile diversion - the show is hilarious). And I've also discovered some cool new music - a guy name Gotye, from Australia, who won record of the year at this year's grammy for a great song called "Someone that I used to know", which features this amazing female singer from New Zealand named Kimbra. They both sing this sorta electronica, groove, jazzy kind of music. So distinct. So, with that and Justin Timberlake coming out with a new album AND my ability after about 7 years of NOT being able to focus on music cause I've been so brain dead from work -- I mean, I can't remember the last time I really listened to music -- my diversions and procrastination - my insomnia, I suppose are all well founded.
But I don't want them to be.
This post is my "focused" writing for the day that I promised to start doing daily in my last post. I see now that following through on that promise might be a hard thing. I suppose it's a vestige of my lack of diligence that was part of my inertia with work in the last few months. I knew I was leaving, so I got done what was necessary - well, actually more than that, cause that was always a demand of the job, in fact, all the way up to my last few minutes on my last day at the job -- but I got the necessary work done at a less dedicated, feverish pace than what I expended pre-Jonathan. That's also why I knew I could NOT take that Editing Job. It would have been a sham. There was no more me in that work. Not at all. So, those last few months, I was experiencing issues getting up at a decent time. Even when Jonathan wakes me up at 6 or 6:30 - I tend to have to get at least another 30 minutes, and then I slowly make my bed and move to his room. Thankfully, he enjoys his alone time talking to his stuffed animals and isn't miffed with me that I don't immediately go in to him when he first wakes up - but that's what I want. I want - REALLY - to wake up before he does and have those minutes of quiet with the Lord that I despeartely need - work out and shower, get dressed and then go in to Jonathan fully alert and ready for us to start our day. This lethargical way I've been these past couple of months makes it so that we don't end up downstairs for breakfast until about 9:30 - which is way too late. And sometimes I'm still not dressed.
It's a bad habit that has to end.
Now the not being able to sleep thing - I'm not sure what that's all about. That's not cool. I guess it's the over stimulation with the music these past couple of nights. So, that's gonna end. That will be a big help with getting me settled down at a reasonable hour for sleep. As it stands now, I've yet to do my reading for our 40-Day Bible Challenge and that has to be done before I go to sleep tonight.
Okay -- enough of all this confessional/moaning/groaning/woe is me business. I have the Spirit of the Living God in me who can enable me to do ANYTHING. He can get me up at a reasonable time and out of the bed and open a space to spend with him, work out, shower and get dressed and into Jonathan by his post-30 minute wake up time. I guess my one request is that that wake up time be more like 7 AM (which it was on Monday) than 6 or 6:30. Of course, daylight savings time starts soon, so that means his 7AM will turn to 6AM and I'll have to pray for homeboy to be one hour more tired once March rolls around.
Challenges, challenges:-) Regardless: Hearing his voice the first thing in the mornig - however, intrusive to my sleep:-), is still the most amazing sound in all the world - and seeing him - those eyes - that bushy head - that mini-man body - that smile - first thing in the morning - regardless of how groggy I am - IS THE ABSOLUTE BEST parts of my day. Hands down. Hands down.
Always.
No comments:
Post a Comment