Trusting God

As the New Year approaches, I received two devotions today that pretty much spoke on the same thing: Trust. Both actually used David and Goliath to inform the message. SO typical of God when He desires to drive a point home in my heart.

My current prayer for 2012 is that the challenges in the year ahead are mainly the challenge of walking away from IBM...the challenge of walking into a doctoral program and all that will mean to my energy reserves, my strength & courage in Christ, my ability to stand and see the power of the Lord being worked out and His glory and majesty being lifted up...the challenge of delving deeper into the joys and frustrations of raising Jonathan...and the challenge of endeavoring to stand in the power of God within a faithful marriage to a man who the Lord allows me to love, honor and lift up.

That's what I'm hoping. We shall see what the Lord ultimately has in store. Nonetheless, whatever it is, these words of encouragement to trust in Him always, will follow me all year long.

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Giants always fall in the presence of God.

It was David who first spoke about the fall of the mighty. He spoke these words about the death of Saul and his son, Jonathan.

David had seen the fall of many mighty men. As a boy, he had defeated the giant, Goliath. He had led Israel into battle against enemies with far greater resources. With a relatively small army, he had outfoxed Saul and his legions. Then Saul and Jonathan died in battle, men who previously had been “mighty.”

David learned that God alone truly is “mighty.” As he once asked, “Who is the King of glory?” The answer? “The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle” (Psalm 24:8).

He has already set in motion the defeat and fall of every giant we will ever face. Our responsibility is to step through our fear, facing every giant in God's power and with His promises. The Holy Spirit will guide the path of His truth to its destined mark, taking down the giants lurking in each tomorrow.

If you find yourself filled with turmoil and anxiety, start focusing on God. Commit your needs to Him. Speak His promises. Turn every problem over to Him, just as weaned children trust in their mothers.

Humble yourself in the presence of the Lord, and submit your life and every issue you face to Him. Then start praising Him and thanking Him for His answers.

When you give up control and learn how to trust God, He turns your walk through life into a beautiful dance that's He's choreographed just for you.

Right now, calm and quiet your soul, and receive His peace. Place your hope in Him!

How Shall I Make Love to My Husband?

By respecting and honoring him...
By admiring his many God-given talents and simply admiring the man that he is...
By not talking down to him...
By speaking truth to him in the power of love and grace...
By receiving truth from him in the power of love and grace...
By encouraging him...
By comforting him when he desires to be comforted...
By knowing when he needs to be left alone to think or reflect...
By praying over him daily...
By considering his needs...
By anticipating his wants through the leadership of the Holy Spirit...
By laughing with him...and crying with him...
By having fun with him...
By taking care of my physical appearance...
By creating a comfortable living environment where he can rest and relax...
By growing with him as we study the word and fellowship with other believers...
By making sure he gets a good, hearty, hot meal now and then...
By my honesty and trustworthiness...
By my walk with the Lord...
By endeavoring to be humble, thankful and thoughtful...
By listening and hearing...
By supporting and uplifting him on a daily basis...
By the love of Christ that dwells in me...

I may not get it all perfect, all of the time, but I hope that I'm able to reach these goals, most of the time, through the power of the Lord, who enables all that is good in me. I'll always endeavor to walk in the fruit of the Sprit when I'm by your side.

Aspirations

I'm mentoring a student who attends a new technical High School in Brooklyn, co-founded by IBM. Her name is La Kya, and she's very sweet. For one of our assignments, we had to list some aspirations/goals that we have in life. I listed my travel goals in the previous post. Here are some others:

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I must accomplish this in my CAREER: The Lord has blessed me to accomplish everything I wanted to in my current career. My next goal is that the Lord allow me to start a whole new career as a practicing PhD in Social Work, utilizing my scholarship as an active researcher/instructor in the discipline, and as an accomplished non-fiction writer, and most importantly, as a founder of a non-profit that provides funding to individuals in full-time Christian service (particularly those working with Sexual Abuse survivors and victims). The non-profit would also provide a free retreat center for these individuals, located in a quiet peaceful setting, where they can recharge and relax. My research focus will be a mix of exploring the Christian ethos as a factor in the lives of Christian sexual abuse victims AND (possibly an odd mix) the use of creative interior design/decorating to generate healing, peace, harmony in the lives of individuals and families.

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I must LEARN how to: ride a motorcycle, mountain bike, ski black diamonds, play the piano, play the guitar, latin ballroom dance, knit

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I must MEET this person: My husband to be! (If not actually, re-meet him:->)

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I must READ this: The Bible - front to back.

God Will Answer Your Prayer!

"Father, answer prayer. You want to be glorified in our world, and we
want to enjoy you every day. Surprise and delight our dejected hearts
with specific answers to prayer today. Just say "yes", so we can....BE ENCOURAGED!
- Tim Cooper

Petitions:

1. A deeper, more significant, more intimate, spirit-filled walk with Christ -- honing my ears to hear, my eyes to see, my heart to obey - to love Him with all my heart, my soul, my mind and my strength!
2. The wisdom, courage, discipline and humility to be a loving, caring mother for Jonathan and his younger brother (whom the Lord spoke to me through scripture I will bear), raising them in the admonition of Christ.
3. Every prayer and scripture spoken over my children's lives for their good and to your glory come to pass, such as their being an example of Godliness to their generation, walking in the fruit of the spirit, pursuing You with abandon, thirsty and hungry for the word, bonded to one or two Godly friends in Christ from a young age until they go home to you, a Godly, sold out for Christ spouse, remaining sexually pure until marriage, walking out your specific purpose for their lives, prosperity in health and wealth, intellectually vigorous and exceptional, world travelers, that they are the start of a Godly heritage from my womb, raising children who will love the Lord even more than they do.
4. The ability to leave IBM be a stay-at-home mother AND delve into the ministry writing and missions work that I'm purposed to carry out.
5. That Kay truly receive Jesus Christ as His Lord and Savior and that his heart continue toward a more consecrated relationship with the Father and that the spirit of truth rise up to an overflow in his life, with continued evidence of a better relationship with his wife and children, if not also reconciliation and restoration of his marriage.
6. Complete deliverance from my prevailing attraction and longing for Kay and an ease, honesty, and Godly love and respect in our interactions as we parent Jonathan.
7. A Christ-Centered marriage, where we, by the power of the Holy Spirit, speak truth to each other in love and grace, endeavoring to be used by God to help the other become the man, woman, parent, friend, employee, child, sibling, relative and citizen God has purposed us to be.
8. Being blessed to conceive a son, consecrated to Christ from the womb in 2014 (the year of God's double (7+7) perfection), my 47th year of life, and to experience his healthy birth in 2015, my 48th year of life (as I have perceived how it will come to pass in my spirit).
9. Clear, undeniable, specific confirmation that Mia is making a turn for the better in You, emotionally, inter-personally and mentally.
10. Godly, suitable spouses and a healthy child/children for Dana, Lolita, Terri, Sandy, and Mia; Godly Suitable spouses for April, Anita, VerRonda, Joanne, Katie, Mona, Rachel, Wendy & Wanda, and Jessica.
11. Bill Scott receives Christ as His savior and the Lord blesses him with a good paying job w/benefits and a Godly wife.
12. Dot Fowler returns to an abiding relationship with Christ and is blessed with a permanent, good paying job w/benefits.
13. Yoan and Jen are blessed with another child and Yoan receives Christ as his savior and they, as a family , return to fellowship w/other believers.
14. Kim and Adam are blessed with a child and continued happiness and the ability to live closer or in the same town and Kim & Chad's music thrive and become known throughout the world, to your Glory and fame.
15. Continue compassion and understanding between my parents and the release of unforgiveness and old resentments in my mother's heart - my father's deliverance from any untoward behavior or other destructive habits that have hindered the marriage and his ability to maintain friendships - that the spirit of God's love reign supreme and that both understand to the core how much Christ loves them.
16. Continued strong health and minds for Jonathan's grandparents - till his High School graduation and beyond.
17. Continued good health, strong minds and bodies for me and Kay so we are here to experience and enjoy Jonathan's children.
18. Jonathan and his half-siblings eventually become close friends.
19. A specific location for Jakin Sanctuary retreat center that would also serve as the location of a home that I share with my husband and our children.
20. Travel to all the locations in my heart to see and to do a lot of it with my husband and children (see locations below).
21. Brandon truly receiving Jesus Christ as his savior and his return to fellowship and an abiding walk with Christ.
22. Salvation and fellowship with other believers for Junito & his family, Alex, Anthony, Maria, Marc & Marjorie and other friends near to me who have not received Christ or are backslidden.
23. A deeper more abiding walk with Christ and regular fellowship and accountability for Phil Barnes, Phil Carr, Joel Hodge and Darryl Morris. If they have not truly received Christ as their savior, for them to do so!

I base these petitions on the following:

All of God's promises are Yes and Amen!

With man it is impossible, but not with God. With God all things are possible.

Believe what you ask for without doubting and you will have what you ask.

Our Father can do immeasurably above and beyond what we hope and imagine

He rewards those who richly seek Him

You have not because you ask not - so ask so that you will have

Knock and the door will be opened, seek and you will find, ask and you will be answered

Be believing, not unbelieving!!

Travel hopes:

Seville (Spain) - Rome, Tuscanny, Venice (Italy) - Paris (again and again), Provence (France) - Ireland (again and again - back to the SW Coast and also Northern Ireland) - Copenhagen (Denmark) - Croatia - Prague (Czekoslovakia) - Israel (tour the breathe of it) - Tunisia and Morocco - Turkey - Vienna (Austria) - London (again) (England) - Namibia, Nigeria, Botswana, South Africa (Africa) - Venezuala - Argentina - Uraguay - Gallapogos Islands (off of Chile) - Mexico City, Oaxaca, San Miguel de Allende (Mexico) - Tokyo, Kyoto (Japan) - India (tour the breathe of it) - Sri Lanka -The Bahamas, Jamaica, St. Barts (again) (Caribbean) - San Francisco, Napa Valley (California) - Key West, Disney World, St. Augustine, Miami, Micanopy, Fort Myers (Florida) - A Cruise around Alaska, all the State Parks in the US

My Hope

Back in November of 2009, I wrote these words of hope. I believe they still stand today - one actually being fulfilled through Jonathan's miraculous arrival in my life! A few in progress...others still to be accomplished. I rest in an assurance and trust that the Lord did not allow these words to be written without giving me the confidence that He has the power and grace to bring them to past. I shall endeavor to hold fast to my confession of Hope and FAITH. I trust in my Father alone.

MY HOPE

A man to love

A child to raise (YAY!! Jonathan -- Thank you, LORD!)

A ministry to run

A book or books to write

A deeper more abiding relationship with Him as all these things come to pass

A deeper faith that they can - that they will come to pass

A fuller assurance that I can depend on Him

A firmer confidence that He will not allow me to fall

A greater understanding of His ways and eternity

A lesser dependence on the here and now

A certified hope that my dreams will not curse or punish me

A trust that He is faithful and knows my hurts, my wants, my needs

A belief that He heard the prayers of those interceding for me

A belief that He has heard my prayers, as well

A lessening of the sadness and despondency

A heightened sense of joy

A greater peace

A God to Glorify and Serve

A better me

A forgiven me when better is not achieved...

My Love Letter to God

I wrote this back in June - the halfway mark in this great year of God's favor, blessings, grace and forgiveness! I think it's suitable for me to publicly make this declaration as the year draws to a close.

May these words from the deepest part of my heart carry me into the New Year and beyond. To the Lord God almighty -- my Abba Daddy -- my all in all: I LOVE YOU!
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Dear Lord, there are not enough words. I have a great love for Jonathan. He rocks my world. To the very depths of myself, I love him and am so grateful for him. I don't believe any man, any vocation, and gift will ever surpass the love and devotion - the passion - that I have for that little boy. Only my love for You surpasses it.

I love you because You are persistent. You are dependable. You are reliable. You have been my absolute, closest, dearest friend in ALL the earth. No one knows me like you know me, and yet you still stick around! In my loneliest, more painful times, you've been there. I think that's what it really comes down to. I can't make it any more simple. When all else passes away - you are. That's it. So, I find myself caught up in some prickly, intentional sins, gripped by fear and anxiety, blocked by petty resentments and jealously, bound up with procrastination and selfishness. You are. You remain. You stay. You hold me. I care for Kay. I love him --- am in love with him (but desiring to fall out of this prevailing love for him), however, he'll never take your place in my life. No one can. That's it. No one can. You're it for me, Lord. You satisfy me. I see myself walking through the botanical gardens in Birmingham. In the thickest part of the park -- no one around, but feeling perfectly safe. You were with me. You're always with me.

Lord, I love you. I'm in love with you. I long for you. I need you. That will never, ever, ever change. If I have a hard time bonding with any man -- being nitty gritty tight with any woman -- it's because I've been created and made to be devoted and tight with no one other than you, first and foremost. You were gracious to give me one other to love on almost as strongly, but still leap years away - and that's Jonathan. My child will never love me back the way I love him. However, what little love I show you - that I think is so overwhelmingly great -- can never compare to the deep, abiding, rich, magnificent and perfect love that you have for me. Nothing.

I love you Lord. I love you my Father. I LOVE YOU!!!