Me in missions?

Well, on Thursday, 12/5/13, I got word from NYC Teaching Collaborative that I was not accepted into the program.  I have to thank God.  It really wasn't for me.  I was forcing something.  I've been released from that fruitless pursuit.

However, in October I participated in an outreach to the homeless through the Relief Bus Ministry, based in Elizabeth NJ.  It was a transcendent experience for me.  The best way I can describe it is to say I felt all of myself and more during the whole of the evening.  I met wonderful people who literally make their homes on the streets of Newark and one particular volunteer who survived cancer and spoke such life into me that I'll never really be able to thank her enough. I drove away as if I was driving on air.  Got lost and ran into a myriad of roadblocks to get back home due to some road paving in my neighborhood and my attitude remained upbeat.  I knew after that first experience that I was destined to become a regular volunteer. Was overjoyed to find out that Liquid will be supporting a monthly outreach at Penn Station throughout 2014.

Soon after, the Lord also seemed to be pricking at my heart to not only consider being a regular volunteer, but to look into actually WORKING for NYC Relief.  I pondered this a bit, but was wary.  Josiah, the gentleman who led our group, had related he was fully funded, i.e., an old fashioned urban missionary.  He's married to a nurse, so they have her income, which in NJ, is a true asset for a person in missions. I don't have a husband, and the idea of ever asking anyone for money to support work that YES I'd be doing through the provision and power of God to His glory and honor, is just completely against my personal philosophy on missions work.  Yes, I support several missionaries and ministries, and count it a blessing and honor to do so.  However, I was never directly asked to support - well, no one picked up a phone or asked me out to lunch to talk about supporting them in missions.  The missionaries provided a general description of the ministry and the work they would be doing to our whole church, or I heard about the person going into a particular ministry work.  In either instance, I felt moved by the Lord to give, so I did.  That's how I believe it should be. In keeping with the faithful George Mueller, who managed to care for thousands of orphans and build several, beautifully appointed orphanages, without EVER ASKING FOR A SINGLE DIME, but purely by faith and prayer, I could only see myself entering into missions if I could follow the same philosophy. However, NYC Relief wants you o raise the support and then you have to continue to court and cultivate that support for the remaining time that the Lord uses you in that missions capacity.

I'm reading a book now called "The God Ask", where the purpose is to point out that when you are raising support, it's really about God providing through these individual or churches - they are not the supply, He is - you are not the recipient, He is.  I understand that I would be depriving those who I care for and love to participate in this worthy work, but can't the Lord simply move individual hearts, like He moved mine to support Caryl, the Salays, Whitney & Tim, the Chiaks, Joyce, Intercessors.org, etc..  Yes, I have the giving gift, so maybe it's a bit easier for God to move me to do just that, give, but God owns all the silver and gold, so if He wants to steer it in the direction of an individual who He has led into missions work, why can't He?  Why can't I trust that He will?

For me the perfect paradigm is to send a mass email or a written letter to those I love and care for to let them know about the ministry and what it has accomplished by God and hopes to accomplish through His grace and power in the future, and to relate that the Lord has led me to serve with this ministry.  If you would like to support me in this work, here is the information on how you can. If not, please at least keep me in prayer - be a prayer partner - and can I keep you abreast of the work through a regular newsletter or blog update?

That allows me to remain committed to my Mueller philosophy of not directly asking support of any particular individual, while remaining in faith that the Lord will move the heart of the right people, people who will not waiver in their giving, as I have not with the missionaries I support, even if it is only $5 a month.  Faithfully.  I can be confident that month after month after month after year after year that money will show up - because God has directed that from the provision He has supplied them they shall provide a portion to the work He has called me to do.

That for me would be perfect.

Will NYC Relief allow me to do it this way?

I would hope.  I still see this as a powerful testimony of God's provision in my life - maybe even moreso.  He has absolute control. I don't ever want to ask anyone for a particular amount of money.

Man --I'm just realizing that I went through all this without divulging why I even care!

Well, on Thursday night, I felt to go check out what are the upcoming volunteer opportunities for the Relief Bus and when I assessed the Web Site, the first thing I saw was an advertisement for a Volunteer Coordinator position. I had to read more. I did.  And I knew I had to apply. So I did and the next day, the President, Juan Galloway, called me.  Short story short, I have a scheduled call with him on Tuesday, 12/10, to discuss the opportunity further.

So, that is my reason for this struggle I'm having with the whole fundraising thing.  I'm just not sure how I'll be able to do it, if I can't do it as described above.  Lord, help me to do it as you see fit. Not as I.  Not even as NYC Relief.  Or God Talk.  Or Henri Nouwen (gonna read another book on raising support that he wrote).  Not anyone.  Only you.  Show me the way that it should work for me.  Help me Lord, cause I tell you:  I REALLY, TRULY want this job!  Finally, You have led me to the meaningful work that my heart has been crying out for for YEARS - really for all of my adult life.  I can see You doing marvelous things through me and in me as a result of serving with NYC Relief.  Please don't let this issue about how I'm gonna take care of Jonathan and myself financially get in the way...

Update 1/10/14:  Not for me.  I went out on a full day of missions work right before Christmas.  It was nice talking to the people and interesting to a point. However, this kind of work is not for me.  My calling is to give to the work that is being done to minister to the sick, to the poor, the homeless, the widow and the orphan. So, my prayer has to change. Lord give me funds.  Open a door for me to obtain the kinds of money, through faith, in the way of George Mueller, so that you can pour that money out of Jakin Sanctuary Foundation into ministries that touch my heart, like The Relief Bus.  I believe you can do it.