...through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8)
No better scripture could I select as the first line of my first entry in this lil blog, a blog that I've been promising to start for several years, but only now possessing the requisite courage to actually follow through and do it. Maybe having a baby at the age of 43 was just the thing I needed to put some fire under my bottom. Moreso, having a baby at the age of 43, three months shy of my 44th birthday and said baby being conceived after a single encounter with a gentleman I knew for less than a month, a gentleman only separated 3+ years from his spouse, but not yet divorced and who already has 4 children, in a womb full of fibroids, through a pregnancy that included two kidney stones, complications from said fibroids, and bleeding out a subchorionic clot...
Yes, no better scripture could I use to describe this journey of grace that I've been on my whole life, but ever so concretely in the past year.
The one lesson I've learned about grace over the past 12 months and what I hope to impart to anyone who falls upon this blog is this: it truly is a gift of God. An inexplicable, wonderous, and awe-inspiring gift, that when lived out in the real of every day living, and reflected on in the wake of its impact, can only leave a person with their jaw gapping wide open.
He is also teaching me much about what it means to not strive for righteousness and a salvation that has been given through His son. He is teaching me much about simply being IN HIM and letting Him LIVE IN and THROUGH me.
It's not all peaches and cream, however. Yes, there is joy and exaltation (my sweet son Jonathan), but also conflict and bittersweet irony (my ongoing negotiation of a possibly misguided/grace-covered?? relationship with his dad). However, it's living - and it's Him being poured out of me through a life less ordinary - imperfect. yet ever committed to knowing and experiencing Him more - authentically and honestly...FINALLY.
Will you join me?
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